Two Weeks Out

During our Haiti team meeting/rehearsal yesterday it really hit me - I leave for Haiti SOON!
Less than two week away - what?

Preparations are going well and personal planning has begun in earnest for me.  Quite a bit has happened in my life recently, so I haven't had a lot time to think about packing lists and things to buy/gather before the trip.  Guess how I'll be spending my 3-day weekend?!

My church (Harvest Bible Chapel Lancaster) has been significantly involved in Haiti for the last couple years.  My small group leader has been to Haiti 5 times (with Harvest) and helped to really build up and equip the church leaders we'll be working with; thus laying the groundwork for this missions trip.  This last group meeting he was able to share a little backstory - and it was so incredible and encouraging.  I'm really hoping to record some highlights from his sharing here so you can understand and see what God has been doing in Haiti, specifically through Harvest.

Last post I asked for nine special prayer partners who would commit to praying for me on a specific day of the trip.  I'm still in need of a couple more - find the details HERE.

Updated Team Prayer Requests

Health - I've been sick the last couple days and some other members of our team are struggling with some head colds, etc.  Pray for complete healing and strength before we leave.

Kids ministry prep - My team is in charge of two days of kids ministry.  Pray for the planning and also that God would prepare the kids' hearts to receive His truth.

Haitian People - This is an evangelistic outreach trip.  Pray that God would be working in the lives of the Haitian people and their hearts would be open to the truth of the gospel.

Our Hearts - Pray that our hearts would be focused on Jesus.  Pray that God would be at work in our hearts as we see and experience things that will break our hearts.

Finances - Huge PRAISE!  We are almost 90% fully funded as a team.  Pray for the remaining 10% to come in and a blessing on those who have generously given.


Thank you, thank you, thank you to all my supporters.  Your prayers and financial support mean so much to me.  You are a blessing and I pray that God richly rewards you for your generosity.

Heart Thoughts

I look at this place and it's where my heart wants to be.  It's where I remember the feelings and emotions of looking out, seeing the Himalayan mountains, and feeling small.  And God feeling big.

Why was it so easy to see the love of Jesus in this place?

Why is it so hard to love American people who seem to have everything they could ever want?

Why does my drive to love others seem less?

Why does Jesus seem different?

I know Jesus is the same.  But to be perfectly honest, sometimes it feels like He was different over in Nepal.  He would give me so much love for other people, so much energy to give without expecting anything in return.

Now I look out over a crowd of Christians here at home and my heart begins to judge instead of love.  I doubt motives instead of testing my own.  I see pride instead of potential.  I see sinners instead of a Savior.

Now I have to ask myself the question "Who changed?  God, or me?"

God doesn't change.  I stake my life on that fact.  

So then it's me.  I realize I've let circumstances change my view of God.  I've let busyness crowd out the quiet and I've let my own pride stand in the way of Jesus having His way in my heart.

So my daily reminder is this - Seek Jesus.

Seek Jesus and listen.
It takes a daily commitment.  Daily saying yes to Jesus; seeking Him.
He longs to pour His love over my soul and watch it bubble over into the lives of others.  He's waiting for me to humble myself before Him and forget about myself.  He is the same.

It's focusing on the unseen things that creates visible change.

Love never fails and God's love never changes.

Community

We met in the Chicago airport for the first time. 

{Kristal's first flight was cancelled so she isn't in this first picture}

I prayed for team unity, blogged about it, wrote it on my prayer cards and penned it into my journal countless times.  And let me tell you - God answers prayer!

Only God knew how close we would become, how much He would use these girls to shape my life and the tight bond we would share together as we experienced life in Nepal for six weeks.

Note: the guy you'll see in quite a few of these photos wasn't actually on our team.  He was an intern for our organization, and was able to #tagalong with us for several trips and experiences.  He was a blessing in so many ways (i.e. fixing toilets, hauling luggage and squashing bugs).

You couldn't have chosen nine more different girls, even if you'd tried!  Honestly, we were a unique bunch, joined and unified by a love for Jesus, and the fact that Carly had picked us (with the Holy Spirit as her guide of course).

It wasn't easy.  The first couple days/week was fun.  We dove in headfirst sharing fun facts, stories and all sorts of things about us.  Then thing got a bit harder.  Time progressed and our circumstances only become more uncomfortable.  We had a choice.  Press in or pull out.

Our leader encouraged us to be vulnerable and transparent, simple at first, but then three weeks flew past and I got tired.  I was frustrated with feelings and emotions from the daily life in Nepal.  I didn't know if they would understand.  I was scared they would judge me, think my feelings were crazy. 

Our differences could have built walls and barriers but instead Jesus used them to compliment our personalities, and our team became stronger.  

We were the body of Christ, equipped by Him for His purposes.  

Strengths overcame weaknesses and Jesus was glorified.

Several times a day we would spend time in prayer for each other, our mission and the people we came in contact with.  We shared our testimonies, our hearts and our struggles.

When I was weak and discouraged, they came alongside of me and gave encouragement and strength.

I had only just met these girls and had done nothing substantial for them, no favors or tasks, yet I was their friend and they loved me - they loved me like Jesus, fully and freely.

I began to understand what true community was supposed to be like.  Broken people joining together to love Jesus.

True community is being real.  The kind of real that opens up your heart to love and pain.  The kind of real that doesn't hide behind a mask of fake happiness.  The kind of real that extends grace when you fall and love when you fail them.  The kind of real that points out the good and forgives the bad.  The kind of real you get when nine girls press into Jesus, each other and the uncomfortable around them.

It was hard and several times I wanted to withdraw not wanting to go there, not wanting parts of my heart to be brought into the light.  But when Jesus finally won and I spilled my guts, it was met with love, grace and understanding.

I had to admit I was wrong, ask for forgiveness and learn to forgive.

But with every experience our team grew closer.

Community is worth fighting for!

These girls.  I love them.

And now I miss them something fierce.

Home

Home.

If "Home is where the heart is" where is home these days?
Nepal?  Nebraska?  Lancaster?

Who knew my heart could be so torn and confused
Who knew the question "so, how was Nepal?" would be so difficult to answer
Who knew that when I scroll through pictures it makes me want to cry - for several reasons
Who knew coming back to America would be so challenging
Who knew the "pressing into the uncomfortable" wouldn't end with Nepal
Who knew little smiles, hands, faces, children would clamp a grip of steel on my heart
Who knew I would miss my team something fierce

God knew.  God knows.

These emotions and thoughts aren't new to Him.  They didn't catch Him by surprise.

This week Jesus has been reminding me, through songs and prayer, to climb up on the Rock, that is Himself.  Climb up above the churning waters of life, of America, of complicated emotions, and rest in Him; let His love soak my soul.  Such comfort and deep peace there is at the feet of Jesus.

So friends, I can't wait to share pictures, and stories.  They will come, I promise.  I literally just finished sorting through 3,000 pictures, and have narrowed it down to less then 1,000.  Woot, woot!

I hope to be real, to share the happiness and the hurt, the joy and the sadness, the easy and the hard. I'm excited to give you a glimpse of Nepal.  A place where the light shines brightly in the middle of deep darkness.  A place where Jesus met me in my brokenness and changed my heart and spoke beautiful things to my soul.  A place where I saw Jesus all around me.

Bruised shins and a happy heart

Who cares if the sun is beating down and the air is thick enough to swim in... when a handful of young Nepali boys ask you if "you want to play futsal?", you don't say no.

Each children's home we visited was filled with love and... children.  The house parents, a Nepali couple, often with children of their own, take in around a dozen children and raise them as their own.  From the streets, or about to end up there, these children are given a home, full bellies, a family to love them and most importantly an opportunity to learn about Jesus and live for Him. 

The health and life that radiates from their little faces are precious and fill my own heart with joy.  As a part of this trip we have had the opportunity to visit several of the THI homes.  Bringing games and fresh faces we play with the kids, encourage the parents and pray truth and blessing over the house and family.

I've never been a soccer player, nor have ever had the desire to develop that skill.  Until now.

The sweat literally poured off my face as I ran up and down the field for an hour.  The boys were quick and I was slow.  They were talented and I had hardly ever played in shoes, let alone barefoot through cowpies.  But to see the joy on their faces as they kicked the ball straight through my legs, or scored an easy goal, it was worth it.

My shins were bruised, my toes ached, but my heart was happy.

Birthday: Nepali style

My team (+ 2) is awesome!

They loved on me and made my birthday so special!

Surprises, encouragements, gifts, pool party, lots of hugs, enthusiastic singing... I am so grateful to each of them!

Nepal does have some special birthday traditions that I gladly incorporated into my day.

On Monday, my birthday, we began a week long kids educational camp at a partnering school.  Bringing candy to all the students is a local tradition - and the kids were happy someone informed me ahead of time of this special sweet treat.

After school we headed to a very American looking pool at a hotel.  A double chocolate cake awaited me, with my picture on the front; candles blazing.  They strapped a birthday hat on my head and sang yet again.

Nepali tradition #2: feed all your friends cake.  Didn't think I would every feed people cake before my wedding reception... but it happened on my birthday.  And I was nice, for the most part.

Pizza, french fries and cake were enjoyed all around.  The evening commenced with games, encouragement and laughter.

I was a little sad my birthday was going to be overseas away from all my family and friends - birthdays are seriously my favorite time of year - but my new team stepped up and what a wonderful birthday to remember forever!

Of course I miss my family and friends... but you all crowded my phone/Facebook with loving notes.  Thank you.

I love you all!

Hard Work and Real Love

I knew it would be hard work.  My backpack was light, only one pair of work clothes and the bare essentials.  I knew the work would be challenging, but I didn't realize the incredible beauty I would encounter on our four day trip to the village.

Set in the Himalayan foothills, this village had been heavily impacted by the earthquake.  As we jolted up the trail/road in a trailer, behind a tractor, I was caught off guard by the immense beauty all around me. 

The ministry we were working with had began a relationship with this particular village pre earthquake, and their relationship has only deepened.  The love of Jesus literally flows from the ministry campsite.  Visitors come constantly for prayer and love.  Children wander up for attention and more love.  The village knowns this site is different, they feel the love of Jesus.

Our days were simple: 

wake up from our tin open-air tent/shack

sip tea and gaze at the splendor of the hills

eat dal bhat at 9am

hike an hour to the worksite

work for 6 hours

sweat, sweat and more sweat

hike back to camp

eat dal baht

love people

go to sleep at 8:15pm

The work included tearing down ruined houses, moving rocks, digging for household items, playing with village children, pushing down walls, pick-axing the rubble for larger rocks and doing whatever else the villagers had in mind.

The sight of broken houses, collapsed roofs and ruined homes impacted my heart forever.  Yet by pulling down the homes and doing the demolition work we were inspiring the people and giving them hope.  They, in turn, found the strength to rebuild and start over.

Physically it was challenging.  The work was hard, the sun was hot, and my skin quite sunburned after the first day.  Water and a bucket was the only shower available to us.  The smells arises from our sleeping quarters were quite bad, to put it simply.

Yet I felt and saw a raw love.  Once again, Jesus was everywhere.  A man came for prayer and was healed of stomach pain and asthma, he is so close to knowing Jesus.  A woman couldn't move her shoulder so we laid hands on her and prayed to our Healer - full shoulder rotation was the result of God's Spirit moving.  

We didn't hardly need to go out, the people came.  Attracted to the love and the power of Jesus, this simple village will never be the same.  Lives are being changed forever, for Jesus.

Banquet House

We had been briefed with a few details, but I still didn't know what to expect. The poor, sick and hungry would gather to receive food, love and prayer. I prayed that Jesus would give me His heart and eyes.  

We wound through the city and ended up in a small open building/space. Several smaller rooms housed a tiny clinic and "kitchen".  We were introduced to the staff and given simple instructions "love, just love these people like Jesus."

What followed was beautiful. 

I knelt down next to two young boys and smiled. In broken Nepali I asked their names and told them mine. They taught me a game played with fingers. We laughed and my heart loved without reserve. I prayed for them, and felt the love and presence of Jesus. 

Next, I paused. The room was crowded with men of all kinds, from all different places and with all different looks. Do I randomly say hello? Do I try to find an empty seat to sit down? What do I say? How do I act? And then my heart felt Jesus and all I saw was Jesus and heard these words in my heart.

"If you've done it unto the least of these you've done it unto Me." 

I looked around, and everywhere I looked I saw Jesus. The sores, the smells.. It all faded and I felt a peace and light around me like never before. 

Who cares if they thought I was crazy, I wanted to talk to every person and pray for them and touch them with Jesus. I'm sure most of the time they didn't understand me, and I sure didn't understand them... But they taught me Nepali words and laughed at my blundering attempts. I chatted in English and prayed over them and they smiled. Sometimes I just sat, words weren't needed. Jesus doesn't need words to give love. 

I wish I could describe the joy in my heart. The privilege I felt to be in that room. That word - privilege - kept coming to mind. What a blessing to be able to serve Jesus. 

The food was done cooking and we began to pass out plates. I walked passed the speakers and heard these words break through the air;

"My God is greater, my God is stronger..."

Tears filled my eyes as truth soaked my soul. God is bigger than the suffering. God is bigger than the poverty. God is bigger than the hurt. 

My God is Greater. 

"He brought me to His banquet table and His banner over me is love."

Ready to Go?

Don't ask...  let me.  Am I ready to go?  Here's my answer.

It's so hard to describe how I'm feeling right now.  The infamous question of "are you ready to go?" has had me wondering what to say. 

Of course there is still much to be done before I actually board the plane, but the lists will be checked off and the bags will get packed, they always do. 

Yes, there was a horrific earthquake that shook the country to its core, but does that cause me to hesitate - not a bit.  

The culture shock, different food, people, scenery, lack of "conveniences"... bring it!

Then there is my heart.  How will it respond, react?

My fervant prayer is that God would prepare my heart and mind, that I would be open to His voice, His leading, His plan.  God only knows what will happen - but in answer to your question...

Yes.  I am ready to go.

Ready for this dream to become reality, ready to love with abandon, ready to have my expecations give way to the will of my Father.

--------

Practicaly speaking...

As I ended the Skype call with my team leader this evening I had to breathe an extra breath.  It's happening.

What a blessing to know God is preparing my heart, the eight other girls, AND our inter-team relationships, in advance.  Hailing from all over the country, yet joined with one mission and purpose.

Yesterday one of my teammates was randomly coming through my city.  We met up with each other over a cup of coffee - or in my case a frappe and she a dirty chai.  What a blessing already it is to share our prayers, dreams, excitement, concerns.

And in other news, my rain jacket arrived in the mail and my hiking sandals close behind.  I just can't wait to get that suitcase packed.

#2weeks

24 days

Life is surreal.  Only three short weeks and I board a plane for Kathmandu.

I'm not sure what to expect or how to even feel.  But I'm desparately praying that God would prepare my heart and mind for His plan and His agenda.  Nepal is a different place then it was a month and a half ago.  But Jesus, and His love, are the same.

The up and coming VisionTeam trip is still on the books and unfolding.  I have to admit I was a bit nervous that it would be canceled due to the devestation in Nepal, but those fears disappeared with emails from my team leader and a video conference call.

She explained the situation in greater detail and stated "God is definately in control of the timing of this trip.  You girls will be arriving at the perfect time.  The first response teams will be leaving and the people will begin the long and painful journey to recovery - emotional, physically and spiritually."

The day-to-day schedule will be different, but details have yet to be passed on.  My heart continues to trust that God is in control, and He doesn't make mistakes.

Thank you for your support and prayers.

Pertinent prayer requests for Nepal:

• Rest and energy for the Napali TinyHands workers, it's hard to take time to rest with so much work to be done
• Border station security - trafficking heightens during times of disaster
• Practical packing and essential "to-do's" before we leave

Fully Funded!

Exciting news to share!

If you're following my Facebook page, this will be old news, but I wanted to wait until my campaign page reflected the answered prayer - 100% fully funded.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, to each one of you who donated towards this trip.  I am so grateful to have such a tremendous support group of friends and family.

The date is quickly approaching, nearly a month away - although I just want to get on a plane already.

Important note: the funds raised beyond the trip total will go, in whole, to the 2015 VisionTeam trip and Tiny Hands International.

What will I be doing?

Good question.  Let me try and give you a glimpse of what I have yet to experience.

The VisionTeam summer trip is (of sorts) divided into two, three week sections.

-----

Weeks 1-3 - Immersion and Information
Diving headfirst into the culture and surroundings, my team and I will travel throughout Kathmandu and surrounding cities, learning, observing the culture and problems the people face; namely poverty and human trafficking.  And of course we will be asking oodles of questions to the experts and missionaries currently at work to learn what works and what doesn't work in regard to the above stated issues.

Visits to the slums, street children, and places associated with the sex industry.  Visits to the TinyHands International projects such as Children's Homes, Border Stations, etc.

During out first three weeks time will be spent in prayer as a team and individually, seeking God as to His purpose and plan for the remaining weeks.

-----

Weeks 4-6 - Intentional Service and Interaction
These last three weeks may look different to each team member.

Following God's direction we will work with a staff member to identify a mission/organization to serve with.  This could be a variety of different ministries currently at work in Nepal (and of course you'll hear more about that as it unfolds).

Ministries could include the following:
Teaching English, games or other subjects to Tiny Hands' children
Developing materials for TH children's homes or anti-trafficking efforts
Working in restoration homes
The list goes on...

A schedule that isn't set in stone thrills my heart!  Leaving room for God to speak challenges my faith and opens doors that might not otherwise be looked at.

I can't wait to find out and experience what God has in store.

First Post

"I am blown away that my God, who could do all this by Himself, would choose to let me be a little part of it." - Katie Davis

I've dreamed about it, prayed about it... now I get to live it!

Tiny Hands International has a six week summer missions VisionTeam trip to Kathmandu, Nepal, and this year I am on that team, along with nine other girls.  I couldn't be more excited about this opportunity God has given me.  Not to mention that I'm pretty stoked to share it all with you via this new little place.

I created this new blog "A Love So Compelling" to keep an online journal of before, during and after my time in Nepal.  Updates, prayer requests, pictures and of course random bits of everything will find their way over to this site.

Link up to my Facebook page for post notifications and of course additional social media coverage.