Home

Home.

If "Home is where the heart is" where is home these days?
Nepal?  Nebraska?  Lancaster?

Who knew my heart could be so torn and confused
Who knew the question "so, how was Nepal?" would be so difficult to answer
Who knew that when I scroll through pictures it makes me want to cry - for several reasons
Who knew coming back to America would be so challenging
Who knew the "pressing into the uncomfortable" wouldn't end with Nepal
Who knew little smiles, hands, faces, children would clamp a grip of steel on my heart
Who knew I would miss my team something fierce

God knew.  God knows.

These emotions and thoughts aren't new to Him.  They didn't catch Him by surprise.

This week Jesus has been reminding me, through songs and prayer, to climb up on the Rock, that is Himself.  Climb up above the churning waters of life, of America, of complicated emotions, and rest in Him; let His love soak my soul.  Such comfort and deep peace there is at the feet of Jesus.

So friends, I can't wait to share pictures, and stories.  They will come, I promise.  I literally just finished sorting through 3,000 pictures, and have narrowed it down to less then 1,000.  Woot, woot!

I hope to be real, to share the happiness and the hurt, the joy and the sadness, the easy and the hard. I'm excited to give you a glimpse of Nepal.  A place where the light shines brightly in the middle of deep darkness.  A place where Jesus met me in my brokenness and changed my heart and spoke beautiful things to my soul.  A place where I saw Jesus all around me.

Bruised shins and a happy heart

Who cares if the sun is beating down and the air is thick enough to swim in... when a handful of young Nepali boys ask you if "you want to play futsal?", you don't say no.

Each children's home we visited was filled with love and... children.  The house parents, a Nepali couple, often with children of their own, take in around a dozen children and raise them as their own.  From the streets, or about to end up there, these children are given a home, full bellies, a family to love them and most importantly an opportunity to learn about Jesus and live for Him. 

The health and life that radiates from their little faces are precious and fill my own heart with joy.  As a part of this trip we have had the opportunity to visit several of the THI homes.  Bringing games and fresh faces we play with the kids, encourage the parents and pray truth and blessing over the house and family.

I've never been a soccer player, nor have ever had the desire to develop that skill.  Until now.

The sweat literally poured off my face as I ran up and down the field for an hour.  The boys were quick and I was slow.  They were talented and I had hardly ever played in shoes, let alone barefoot through cowpies.  But to see the joy on their faces as they kicked the ball straight through my legs, or scored an easy goal, it was worth it.

My shins were bruised, my toes ached, but my heart was happy.

Birthday: Nepali style

My team (+ 2) is awesome!

They loved on me and made my birthday so special!

Surprises, encouragements, gifts, pool party, lots of hugs, enthusiastic singing... I am so grateful to each of them!

Nepal does have some special birthday traditions that I gladly incorporated into my day.

On Monday, my birthday, we began a week long kids educational camp at a partnering school.  Bringing candy to all the students is a local tradition - and the kids were happy someone informed me ahead of time of this special sweet treat.

After school we headed to a very American looking pool at a hotel.  A double chocolate cake awaited me, with my picture on the front; candles blazing.  They strapped a birthday hat on my head and sang yet again.

Nepali tradition #2: feed all your friends cake.  Didn't think I would every feed people cake before my wedding reception... but it happened on my birthday.  And I was nice, for the most part.

Pizza, french fries and cake were enjoyed all around.  The evening commenced with games, encouragement and laughter.

I was a little sad my birthday was going to be overseas away from all my family and friends - birthdays are seriously my favorite time of year - but my new team stepped up and what a wonderful birthday to remember forever!

Of course I miss my family and friends... but you all crowded my phone/Facebook with loving notes.  Thank you.

I love you all!

When Loving Hurts

The waterfall crashed with deafening sounds just inches from my feet. The cool air blew my hair and the fresh spray coated me in a delightful coolness. I was on a rock, a solid rock. I felt safe and loved. Loved by Jesus. 

All week He had been showing up in real ways, giving me a heart for people, giving me His love for those around me. And the waterfalls pressed me deeper into His power and love. 

I felt alive. 

This view took my breath away. 

Dancing through the water. Singing, praying, feeling God's love literally wash over me. It was beautiful. 

Fast forward to the evening. I sat in a crowded hotel room with my team. I watched the computer screen and my heart was broken. A short video visualized trafficking in a way that made my stomach curl. I had read about the horrors of the sex trade, watched documentaries, etc. but being in this country, visiting the border, seeing innocent girls, talking with the experts...Something broke within me. It became real and I was horrified. God had changed my heart and opened my eyes to see the world through His view. I had felt the love, and now I was feeling the hurt. 

The pain. The ache. It was/is real. 

In the morning while I felt fully alive, dancing in the love of Jesus... a girl was just begging to die, not even knowing such joy is even possible. 

My heart was conflicted. So much pain. 

I was unsure of how to feel. I wanted to feel God's love and prayed for my heart to be opened. And once again I realized that pain accompanies love. It's not all smiles. Yet the hurt can stifle my heart, or drive me to action, to prayer, to love everyone around me with the same love I feel from God. 

God allowed me to feel His pleasure so I could then love with His power. 

 What now? What do I do with these intense emotions? 

There is nothing I can do but seek the face of God, surrender my life to Him and let His love pour out of me like a waterfall.

 

Hard Work and Real Love

I knew it would be hard work.  My backpack was light, only one pair of work clothes and the bare essentials.  I knew the work would be challenging, but I didn't realize the incredible beauty I would encounter on our four day trip to the village.

Set in the Himalayan foothills, this village had been heavily impacted by the earthquake.  As we jolted up the trail/road in a trailer, behind a tractor, I was caught off guard by the immense beauty all around me. 

The ministry we were working with had began a relationship with this particular village pre earthquake, and their relationship has only deepened.  The love of Jesus literally flows from the ministry campsite.  Visitors come constantly for prayer and love.  Children wander up for attention and more love.  The village knowns this site is different, they feel the love of Jesus.

Our days were simple: 

wake up from our tin open-air tent/shack

sip tea and gaze at the splendor of the hills

eat dal bhat at 9am

hike an hour to the worksite

work for 6 hours

sweat, sweat and more sweat

hike back to camp

eat dal baht

love people

go to sleep at 8:15pm

The work included tearing down ruined houses, moving rocks, digging for household items, playing with village children, pushing down walls, pick-axing the rubble for larger rocks and doing whatever else the villagers had in mind.

The sight of broken houses, collapsed roofs and ruined homes impacted my heart forever.  Yet by pulling down the homes and doing the demolition work we were inspiring the people and giving them hope.  They, in turn, found the strength to rebuild and start over.

Physically it was challenging.  The work was hard, the sun was hot, and my skin quite sunburned after the first day.  Water and a bucket was the only shower available to us.  The smells arises from our sleeping quarters were quite bad, to put it simply.

Yet I felt and saw a raw love.  Once again, Jesus was everywhere.  A man came for prayer and was healed of stomach pain and asthma, he is so close to knowing Jesus.  A woman couldn't move her shoulder so we laid hands on her and prayed to our Healer - full shoulder rotation was the result of God's Spirit moving.  

We didn't hardly need to go out, the people came.  Attracted to the love and the power of Jesus, this simple village will never be the same.  Lives are being changed forever, for Jesus.