Unexpected

June seems far away, and my trip to Haiti doesn't seem real.

Time passes faster than I give it credit for, and I know tomorrow will be June 9th and I'll be standing in line at the airport with my team, boarding for a trip that will change our hearts forever.

I was chatting with a gentleman from work about the upcoming trip.  We (a fellow teammate and I were putting on a fundraiser) were sharing details about the trip and a couple prayer requests and he had some words of advice.

To summarize, in my own words, his thoughts;
You're preparing to worship, to share the gospel, to influence these people.  Plans have been made and schedules organized, but it's the unexpected that will change you the most - leave room and prepare your heart for the unexpected.

The unexpected.

The little moments you didn't plan for
The interrupted plans that seemed to backfire
The random conversation that turned significant
The heartfelt prayers and struggles of fellow teammates

God is ultimately planning this trip and it may seem completely different and off-track, but God works in the unexpected and those moments don't take God by surprise.  Quite the contrary, they were planned by Him.

Leave room for the unexpected.

Prayer Request
That God would prepare our hearts for what He has planned

Haiti - 2016

Six years ago I applied for my passport and I was convinced that Haiti was going to be the very first stamp.

Honduras
Nepal
but no Haiti.

I was eighteen when the earthquake of 2010 wrecked havoc on the destitute country of Haiti. Everything within me wanted to come to their aid, to help, comfort, do something.  It soon became clear, however, that then was not the time. Fast forward six years and the time has now presented itself.

Come June, my passport will contain the Haitian stamp.

I am thrilled to be apart of a Worship Outreach Missions trip throughout Haiti, with my local church (Harvest Bible Chapel Lancaster).

We will work with a number of churches in Haiti, including two Harvest churches, doing evangelistic music outreach events across the country.  The gospel will go forth to the people as we sing and serve alongside the Haitian church.

Launching our trip in Miami, FL, we will serve alongside Harvest Miami to do our first outreach event on American soil before flying to Haiti.  I will be traveling, ministering and singing alongside 21 people from my church AND 20-25 people from Harvest St. Louis.

The entirety of this trip is committed to God and it is my heart to see His high and lifted up.  I covet your prayers before and during this trip.  In order for this outreach to be successful we need God to do His work, and I firmly believe this will happen if His people pray!

Prayer Requests
- Team unity
- Strength to minister in a spiritually dark place like Haiti
- Clear communication between St. Louis and Lancaster teams
- Prepare people's hearts in Haiti to hear the gospel
- Funds for the team to go

A couple specifics:
Trip Date: June 9th-18th
Cost: $1,500
Outreach Location: Miami, Cabaret, Port-au-Prince, Maplat, Jacmel

Also, if you would like to make a tax-deductible financial contribution click HERE and select "Haiti" from the drop-down menu.

Stay tuned for updates and more info!!

Heart Thoughts

I look at this place and it's where my heart wants to be.  It's where I remember the feelings and emotions of looking out, seeing the Himalayan mountains, and feeling small.  And God feeling big.

Why was it so easy to see the love of Jesus in this place?

Why is it so hard to love American people who seem to have everything they could ever want?

Why does my drive to love others seem less?

Why does Jesus seem different?

I know Jesus is the same.  But to be perfectly honest, sometimes it feels like He was different over in Nepal.  He would give me so much love for other people, so much energy to give without expecting anything in return.

Now I look out over a crowd of Christians here at home and my heart begins to judge instead of love.  I doubt motives instead of testing my own.  I see pride instead of potential.  I see sinners instead of a Savior.

Now I have to ask myself the question "Who changed?  God, or me?"

God doesn't change.  I stake my life on that fact.  

So then it's me.  I realize I've let circumstances change my view of God.  I've let busyness crowd out the quiet and I've let my own pride stand in the way of Jesus having His way in my heart.

So my daily reminder is this - Seek Jesus.

Seek Jesus and listen.
It takes a daily commitment.  Daily saying yes to Jesus; seeking Him.
He longs to pour His love over my soul and watch it bubble over into the lives of others.  He's waiting for me to humble myself before Him and forget about myself.  He is the same.

It's focusing on the unseen things that creates visible change.

Love never fails and God's love never changes.

Community

We met in the Chicago airport for the first time. 

{Kristal's first flight was cancelled so she isn't in this first picture}

I prayed for team unity, blogged about it, wrote it on my prayer cards and penned it into my journal countless times.  And let me tell you - God answers prayer!

Only God knew how close we would become, how much He would use these girls to shape my life and the tight bond we would share together as we experienced life in Nepal for six weeks.

Note: the guy you'll see in quite a few of these photos wasn't actually on our team.  He was an intern for our organization, and was able to #tagalong with us for several trips and experiences.  He was a blessing in so many ways (i.e. fixing toilets, hauling luggage and squashing bugs).

You couldn't have chosen nine more different girls, even if you'd tried!  Honestly, we were a unique bunch, joined and unified by a love for Jesus, and the fact that Carly had picked us (with the Holy Spirit as her guide of course).

It wasn't easy.  The first couple days/week was fun.  We dove in headfirst sharing fun facts, stories and all sorts of things about us.  Then thing got a bit harder.  Time progressed and our circumstances only become more uncomfortable.  We had a choice.  Press in or pull out.

Our leader encouraged us to be vulnerable and transparent, simple at first, but then three weeks flew past and I got tired.  I was frustrated with feelings and emotions from the daily life in Nepal.  I didn't know if they would understand.  I was scared they would judge me, think my feelings were crazy. 

Our differences could have built walls and barriers but instead Jesus used them to compliment our personalities, and our team became stronger.  

We were the body of Christ, equipped by Him for His purposes.  

Strengths overcame weaknesses and Jesus was glorified.

Several times a day we would spend time in prayer for each other, our mission and the people we came in contact with.  We shared our testimonies, our hearts and our struggles.

When I was weak and discouraged, they came alongside of me and gave encouragement and strength.

I had only just met these girls and had done nothing substantial for them, no favors or tasks, yet I was their friend and they loved me - they loved me like Jesus, fully and freely.

I began to understand what true community was supposed to be like.  Broken people joining together to love Jesus.

True community is being real.  The kind of real that opens up your heart to love and pain.  The kind of real that doesn't hide behind a mask of fake happiness.  The kind of real that extends grace when you fall and love when you fail them.  The kind of real that points out the good and forgives the bad.  The kind of real you get when nine girls press into Jesus, each other and the uncomfortable around them.

It was hard and several times I wanted to withdraw not wanting to go there, not wanting parts of my heart to be brought into the light.  But when Jesus finally won and I spilled my guts, it was met with love, grace and understanding.

I had to admit I was wrong, ask for forgiveness and learn to forgive.

But with every experience our team grew closer.

Community is worth fighting for!

These girls.  I love them.

And now I miss them something fierce.

Home

Home.

If "Home is where the heart is" where is home these days?
Nepal?  Nebraska?  Lancaster?

Who knew my heart could be so torn and confused
Who knew the question "so, how was Nepal?" would be so difficult to answer
Who knew that when I scroll through pictures it makes me want to cry - for several reasons
Who knew coming back to America would be so challenging
Who knew the "pressing into the uncomfortable" wouldn't end with Nepal
Who knew little smiles, hands, faces, children would clamp a grip of steel on my heart
Who knew I would miss my team something fierce

God knew.  God knows.

These emotions and thoughts aren't new to Him.  They didn't catch Him by surprise.

This week Jesus has been reminding me, through songs and prayer, to climb up on the Rock, that is Himself.  Climb up above the churning waters of life, of America, of complicated emotions, and rest in Him; let His love soak my soul.  Such comfort and deep peace there is at the feet of Jesus.

So friends, I can't wait to share pictures, and stories.  They will come, I promise.  I literally just finished sorting through 3,000 pictures, and have narrowed it down to less then 1,000.  Woot, woot!

I hope to be real, to share the happiness and the hurt, the joy and the sadness, the easy and the hard. I'm excited to give you a glimpse of Nepal.  A place where the light shines brightly in the middle of deep darkness.  A place where Jesus met me in my brokenness and changed my heart and spoke beautiful things to my soul.  A place where I saw Jesus all around me.

Bruised shins and a happy heart

Who cares if the sun is beating down and the air is thick enough to swim in... when a handful of young Nepali boys ask you if "you want to play futsal?", you don't say no.

Each children's home we visited was filled with love and... children.  The house parents, a Nepali couple, often with children of their own, take in around a dozen children and raise them as their own.  From the streets, or about to end up there, these children are given a home, full bellies, a family to love them and most importantly an opportunity to learn about Jesus and live for Him. 

The health and life that radiates from their little faces are precious and fill my own heart with joy.  As a part of this trip we have had the opportunity to visit several of the THI homes.  Bringing games and fresh faces we play with the kids, encourage the parents and pray truth and blessing over the house and family.

I've never been a soccer player, nor have ever had the desire to develop that skill.  Until now.

The sweat literally poured off my face as I ran up and down the field for an hour.  The boys were quick and I was slow.  They were talented and I had hardly ever played in shoes, let alone barefoot through cowpies.  But to see the joy on their faces as they kicked the ball straight through my legs, or scored an easy goal, it was worth it.

My shins were bruised, my toes ached, but my heart was happy.

Birthday: Nepali style

My team (+ 2) is awesome!

They loved on me and made my birthday so special!

Surprises, encouragements, gifts, pool party, lots of hugs, enthusiastic singing... I am so grateful to each of them!

Nepal does have some special birthday traditions that I gladly incorporated into my day.

On Monday, my birthday, we began a week long kids educational camp at a partnering school.  Bringing candy to all the students is a local tradition - and the kids were happy someone informed me ahead of time of this special sweet treat.

After school we headed to a very American looking pool at a hotel.  A double chocolate cake awaited me, with my picture on the front; candles blazing.  They strapped a birthday hat on my head and sang yet again.

Nepali tradition #2: feed all your friends cake.  Didn't think I would every feed people cake before my wedding reception... but it happened on my birthday.  And I was nice, for the most part.

Pizza, french fries and cake were enjoyed all around.  The evening commenced with games, encouragement and laughter.

I was a little sad my birthday was going to be overseas away from all my family and friends - birthdays are seriously my favorite time of year - but my new team stepped up and what a wonderful birthday to remember forever!

Of course I miss my family and friends... but you all crowded my phone/Facebook with loving notes.  Thank you.

I love you all!